Posted 3/20/2008 11:06 AM CDT
Last night, I was lying in bed. And feeling lousy from what my brother-in-law calls "hormone poisoning." I look over at my husband, blissfully reading after having scarfed down a Klondike bar which will not make him fat.
Me: "Do you feel the same every morning when you wake up?"
Husband: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, some days are you queasy-ier or bloated or crampier or ache-ier?"
Husband (speaking condescendingly, as if I've asked him whether unicorns exist): "Yeah, if I have the flu. Or if I drank too much the night before. But no, most days I feel exactly the same."
"And I suppose every time you want to lift something heavy, you just do it?"
"I can't lift everything I want." (At this point I read his mind, which is saying, "I can't lift my car. DUH.")
"It is so not fair that I can't live even one day in a man's body."
"Yeah, I can pee standing up."